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   Home | Society | Relationships

Article:
'Is Cyber Sex Classed As Cheating'





".....

Sex is a basic function that permeates all our lives to varying degrees with some thinking it is.....
.....adult web cams,....."

With the developments in the printing and publishing business came the introduction of pornographic material and much later, the acceptance of such things by the majority.

With the developments in the technical world of cyber space came the world of cyber sex but this is yet to be accepted by the majority and as such, opens up a huge moral debate. Life itself has marched on in a dramatic pace and one of the biggest casualties has been human relationships. This leaves people lonely and vulnerable and looking for comfort in many ways.

Sex is a basic function that permeates all our lives to varying degrees with some thinking it is a pleasant extra, some see it as a chore to be got through and others see it more as the be all and end all. Cyber sex can be a welcome relief that hurts no-one but if the individual using it is in a serious relationship, then this can have devastating consequences.

Opening up this debate in the office, I got some very surprising opinions from the people I least expected. Certain members of staff thought that any contact with anyone that invoked sexual stirrings of any kind was cheating. Others saw it as a black and white issue - yes it is or no it isn't.

But when I put it to them that everybody had a moral line that they envision and that this particular line is different for everybody, who is in a position to decide between right and wrong? Some people said they would be ok if their partner was looking at still pictures, much the same as pornographic magazines and the same applied to videos via the internet or TV.

However, let these same people get home from work to see their partner viewing adult web cam shows and the attitude changes. This is when things start to get personal. There is a plethora of websites set up to allow one to one contact between viewer and sex worker with an adult web cam. It's certainly big business and plenty of bored housewives make a decent wage from it.

Some people think it's ok for them to view the kind of material displayed on adult web cams because they are not physically cheating on their partners but would they feel the same if their partner had their own adult web cam and was performing on the other end for everybody to view?

The point that if people did not perform this service then less people would cheat is futile. This is a modern day variation of the world's oldest profession without the physical contact and this is how many workers justify their business. However, when you're one side of an adult web cam there is just no way of knowing what type of person is watching you. And does it make a difference? Maybe this depends just how much you are willing to do for money.

Many people performing on adult web cams will tout their wares, waiting for a private caller and then perform whatever sex act the viewer wishes to see. If the viewer is getting off on this, maybe the partner would consider this enough to be classed as cheating?

And then of course we have internet addiction. Mixed with the old addiction to sex that many people experience and you have the full set of ingredients for relationship failure. This is because when one partner is able to get aroused by what they see on an adult web cam but not by their partner, this leaves one half of the relationship feeling rejected and worthless.

Conversely, when one partner refuses the other any conjugal rights this can also feel like a severe rejection and can drive the rejected to other forms of sexual comfort.

When my husband cheated on me the aspect I found hardest to deal with was the emotional cheating. The fact that he was divulging personal and private information that should have stayed between the two of us was too big an issue for me to get over. This may not have happened if he were cheating with cyber sex but is, in reality, a whole new debate.

"..... This is because when one partner is able to get aroused by what they see on an adult web cam but no....."



_____________________________________________


Relationship expert Catherine Harvey looks at the use of adult web cams and whether or not they contribute to cheating.



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